Putting personal conviction above one’s need to be liked

I have a crush. (I have 5. )

And he is what you guys would call ‘dilawan’. (I’ve never used that word. I don’t like lumping people in groups because I don’t like being lumped in groups too. I feel less of a person and more of an M&M when this is done to me.) What’s more this crush of mine is, clearly, solidy, elitist.

However, he is no asshole. Eh kaya ko nga naging crush. I don’t go for assholes no. He seems so solid and such a good family man. And too, intelligent, witty, funny, kind. He gives me belly laughs and he makes me think hard about issues of the day and. Because he’s my crush, my antenna’s up when it’s him talking. And that ‘crush’ card is what makes me listen to him far more than I would if he weren’t my crush.

And then I have another crush.

This dude is handsome beyond belief and sexy as hell. And kind too. He, however, thinks Ferdinand Marcos was a great president and we’ve had discussions about this and it was with him that I first truly listened about “why FM is great”—a discussion I would have found unbearable if it were someone other than him spouting all that unbearable stuff. And ‘handsome and sexy and kind’ are great incentives for me to listen.

I am stumped as to why the Universe would send me these crushes. They’re just so different from me. It’s made me scratch my head a lot of times.

And because I am the least literal person I know, I ponder on these. I don’t take these attractions literally—like I’m supposed to run away with these men and have 10 babies by them and name them combinations of both our names (So kung ang name pala nya ay Jose, mga anak namin: Jolor, Lorse, Jolorra, Lorrase. Haha.. Ang intense ng kalokohan na yan. Paki-ban nga. Kidding. Wag ka na ma-hurt, Niberonofer.)

Because my husband and I are like THIS. We’re on the same page solidly about politics, religion, life, music, individuality, how to raise our kids, the environment, he’s an avid runner like I am, breathes books, all that. In fact, after close to 25 years of marriage, I’d be hard pressed to think of anything major we differ on. Oh ok, wait. There are some things we don’t agree on. Only, now we know to choose our battles and to give each other space.

And just as my husband gives me the stability and fertile ground for some of my deeply-held beliefs, I think these dudes I have crushes on are the Universe’s way of opening up my mind –and heart and soul too—to other worlds, other realities, other points of views that I otherwise would not have if I weren’t sufficiently motivated to be open-minded. And nothing says ‘sufficiently motivated’ more to me than ‘crush’.

I don’t think they’ll ever win me to their side but I am grateful to them for  giving me this: balance and perspective. For teaching me RESPECT and TOLERANCE.

And I am writing all these because I have taken the VP to task for what I think are inaccuracies she and her team have put forth in public. And some of you have mistaken me for being spokesperson of the Duterte camp.

And as much as I admire this president, this isn’t written in stone, this admiration. This admiration is per project basis. ..and so no, I am not his spokesperson.

This is just me speaking my mind and sharing it with you guys.

And no I am not standing in the middle and being neutral.

I am with Dante Alighieri when he said, “The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in time of moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.” And I reserve some of my biggest disdain for those who play it safe and do not take sides when sides have to be taken. Someone who wants too badly to be liked by EVERYONE.

I am not built that way. I do take sides and everyone be damned. And I am not writing this for anyone to like me. (except my crushes haha)

I have taken a side—the side I wish you’d all take—and it is our country’s side.

So that when a duly elected official is in danger of being ousted by evil forces out there, you will take your country’s side and not allow this. And if a duly elected official lies to you, you take your country’s side and call her out on it. Because what you have in mind is so much more than the furthering of one person’s political agenda. And because you don’t see anybody as your or your country’s savior.

What you have in mind is the strengthening of our country’s democratic processes and at the heart of all of this is the empowered citizen. And that would be YOU.

If we evolved a bit and stopped all that kampi kampi and blind fealty to a political lord/lady and got our acts together, we’d be a force to reckon with. We would be the kind of people we were always meant to be— forward looking, courageous, compassionate, critical thinkers. A people who forge their own destiny.

So stop fanning on anyone. And start seeing yourself as central to all these. As THE agent of change—as your own savior. (And pls lang ayoko maka receive ng messages na “You are wrong, Dra. Jesus is our lord and savior.” Susmeh. Yun ba pinag uusapan natin? Hindi diba? So chill ka lang jan at isara mo bible mo. Hindi ito bible study.)

Das all.

Have a great day, my darlings.

Great big hugs to all of you!

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Lorraine Marie T Badoy as posted on Facebook.